My One Big New Year Resolution, Revelation, and Revolution

About Gratitude, Difficulty, Growth and S**T.

Greetings, wonderful souls of the Mindful Motherhood tribe,

As I immersed myself in the creative process of designing Pinterest Pins for my Mindful Motherhood Christmas Calendar, an unexpected prompt caught me off guard. The system cheerfully suggested exploring the "TOP 5 New Year’s Resolutions for Moms." Picture this – I'm knee-deep in the chaos of wrangling energetic kids, orchestrating festive celebrations, managing work commitments, and now, the universe nudges me to ponder how I can be even more "improved."

At that moment, a rebellious spark ignited within me. For when I'm in rebel mode, there's an energy, a force that demands expression. Fortunately, as the year drew to a close, I found solace in this haven – this blog, this community. So, let's settle in, and I'll share my musings with you.

New Year’s Resolutions – Friends or Foes?

Let's be clear; I don't dismiss the idea of setting goals, ideally ones grounded in values and crafted with a SMART approach. The ability to pursue these goals flexibly cultivates character, a sense of control, and confidence. However, it seems that each year, post the parental marathon of Christmas, we're bombarded with resolutions that lack true value. It's as if we're invited to scrutinize ourselves once again, with a critical eye that may trigger feelings of inadequacy:

• Start a gym in January, save 20% – really? Suddenly, post-Christmas feasting, I'm deemed unhealthy and too big?

• Read more (when?)

• Practice healthy sleeping habits (as soon as my toddler decides to stop nighttime breastfeeding and co-sleeping)

• Keep space organized (I try, but my little artists find my notes and laptop irresistible)

• Network more – I'd love to! Yet, organizing a meetup with kids requires the precision of planning a moon landing.

My Revelation and Gentle Revolution

Perhaps 'revolution' is too robust a term. After all, I'm not here advocating anarchy or toppling kingdoms. People seek reflections as another year concludes, and that's understandable. But where lies the middle ground between resisting change (and potential growth) and the pressure to reinvent our entire lives and selves?

I propose GRATITUDE as the key. Start there. Grab a piece of paper, a notepad, or open your laptop. Cast your mind's eye over the passing year – the good, the bad, and the downright ugly. Celebrate the good; express gratitude to *God, the Universe, people, and yourself (*strike out inapplicable).

Now, examine the bad and the ugly. Allow space for the emotions these thoughts and memories evoke. Loss, grief, sadness – hold them, like you hold a sleeping, vulnerable baby. Then, contemplate what you've learned. How have these experiences shaped the person you are today? Clients in my practice sometimes insist they've learned nothing from a 'shitty situation,' and yes, sometimes, 'shit is just shit' at first glance. And sure, there are times when things seem pretty grim—like a punch to the gut. Whether it's grappling with the loss of a loved one, facing health challenges, dealing with financial bumps, or managing that endless fatigue with minimal time for self-care.

But hey, let's hang out at that moment a little longer. Much like the initial whiff of manure isn't the most pleasant, the richness it offers fosters the growth of the most vibrant roses. Cliché, perhaps, but it's how we learn and grow – through adversity and difficulty.

So, before you dive into resolutions, feeling the familiar pang of 'not good enough,' and preparing to be kinder to your loved ones, spend less time on your mobile, engage in more arts and crafts with your kids, lose weight, cook healthier meals, and more – pause. Reflect on yourself and the past year. Acknowledge and accept, without struggle, that these moments were gifted to you. They were, perhaps, trying to teach you something?

Only then, with this foundation of gratitude and self-awareness, consider crafting plans for change. I extend this invitation to you. You're not obligated, though, because you are already good enough.

Warm wishes,

Aleks x