Mantras for Mamas - 5 STEPS for a Pep Talk

The art and science of positive affirmations in motherhood; 5 simples steps to create your own positive affirmations/mantras

This post is a result of some soul-searching on my part. Lately, I've been feeling pretty drained – work stress, personal issues, and the ongoing struggles with my kids' health. It all became a bit overwhelming, leaving me feeling drained and short-tempered, especially with my boys. So, I made the decision to take a much-needed break from work.  During that time, I started dedicating just five minutes each day to journaling, beginning with a deliberate affirmation. To my surprise, this simple practice had a very positive impact on my mindset. Intrigued, I did a bit of digging online and stumbled upon some interesting insights. Today, I'm excited to share what I've learned with you: the art and science of crafting your own mantras or positive affirmations. (Now, if the term 'positive affirmations' makes you cringe a little inside, don't worry – you're not alone. But I encourage you to stick around, keep an open mind, and give it a shot; if it's not your thing, that's okay too).

Understating mantras/affirmations

Mantras or affirmations are like little pep talks we give ourselves to counteract those nagging negative thoughts and limiting beliefs we often wrestle with. They're like mental armour, empowering us to tackle self-doubt head-on. By regularly repeating these positive statements, we essentially hit the reset button on our brain, rewiring it to focus on empowerment rather than self-criticism. It's all thanks to neuroplasticity, our brain's incredible ability to adapt and form new connections based on our experiences. So, the more we immerse ourselves in uplifting messages, the more our brains soak them in, reshaping our perception of ourselves and the world around us. It's like upgrading our mental software, swapping out outdated, negative beliefs for fresh, positive ones. Ultimately, embracing affirmations helps cultivate a mindset of resilience, self-compassion, and self-belief.

The science behind the affirmations

Now, you know I couldn't resist delving into the science behind this intriguing concept, right? Well, let me tell you, the evidence is pretty compelling. Numerous studies have shown that regular practice of positive affirmations can work wonders for our mental well-being. For instance, one study (Cresswell et al., 2013) discovered that individuals who incorporated self-affirmations into their daily routine experienced lower stress levels and greater problem-solving abilities compared to those who didn't. Another study (Falk et al., 2013) found that affirmations act as a shield against the harmful effects of stress on the brain, leading to improved cognitive function and emotional resilience. And here's something particularly fascinating: emerging research suggests that affirmations may even help alleviate postpartum blues when combined with other self-empowerment techniques like progressive muscle relaxation (Thitipitchayanant et al., 2018). So, there you have it – science-backed validation that a few positive words can go a long way in nurturing our mental health.

Positive affirmations in motherhood

It goes without saying that motherhood is a rollercoaster ride of emotions – from the heart-melting moments of pure joy to the overwhelming challenges that leave us feeling drained and doubting our capabilities. The sleepless nights, endless responsibilities, and constant self-doubt can take a toll on our mental well-being. However, amidst the chaos, positive affirmations can provide us with the strength, encouragement, and reassurance they need to navigate the journey. By incorporating affirmations into our daily routine, we can cultivate resilience, self-compassion, and strengthen self-belief, empowering us to tackle the ups and downs of motherhood with full confidence (and sanity!). Whether reciting affirmations during moments of chaos or setting aside dedicated time for self-care and reflection, these affirmations play a vital role in prioritising mental well-being and nurturing the soul of motherhood.

Craft Your Own Affirmations

While there are countless positive affirmations available, including powerful meditations like loving-kindness meditation (metta), there's something uniquely empowering about crafting your own affirmations tailored to your specific needs and experiences. If you've found ready-made affirmations to be less impactful, it may be time to explore creating your own personalised mantras.

When you're ready to embark on this journey, gather your favourite stationery (colourful pens are a must!) and follow the STEPS outlined below:

S - Survey Your Challenges: Take a moment to reflect on the challenges you face as a mother. Identify specific situations or triggers that evoke feelings of overwhelm or difficulty, such as outings, bedtime routines, or meal times.

T - Trace Negative Thought Patterns: Dive deeper into your thoughts and beliefs surrounding these challenging situations. Recognize any recurring negative thought patterns, such as "I should...", "I never...", or "I am...".

E - Empower with Positive Affirmations: Now, reframe these negative thoughts into empowering affirmations that resonate with your innermost self. Consider questions like:

What do I truly need in those moments?

What do I need to hear from others? If I could, what words would I like to say to myself for the rest of my life, that would make me say “thank you” every time I hear them?

What qualities do I aspire to embody in my life

P - Personalise and Present-Tense: Transform your reflections into personalised affirmations by adding 2-4 words to create phrases that deeply resonate with you. There's no right or wrong way to do this – trust your intuition and choose words that speak to your soul.

S - Stick to Daily Practice: Make affirmations a regular part of your daily routine to harness their full potential. Choose one affirmation each day as your focal point, setting reminders on your phone to recite it throughout the day. Consider integrating affirmations into your morning or evening rituals, meditation sessions, or journaling practices. Visual reminders, such as sticky notes placed around your home, can reinforce these affirmations and amplify their impact over time.

At the end of the day, it's crucial to ensure that your affirmations truly resonate with you. Feel free to experiment with different formats – whether it's single-word affirmations, phrases beginning with "May I...", or personalised affirmations incorporating your name, find what speaks to your heart. Here are some examples from my own collection:

This will get better; this moment will pass.

I do what I can and I let go the rest.

The day will get better.

I breathe, I am safe, I am calm

My needs and my children's needs are equally valid and important.

I am a capable and loving mother, exactly as I am.

My life has a meaning in the present moment.

There is strength in taking things one step at a time.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. (said really slowly).

I can be myself and bring happiness to other people.

I acknowledge irrational thoughts and choose to distance myself from them.

I believe that days are long, but years are short.

I believe in myself and in my potential.

In the stormy journey of motherhood, positive affirmations serve as anchors of stillness, allowing us to nurture a mindset of resilience, self-compassion, and unwavering self-belief. As you embark on this journey, remember to treat yourself with kindness and mindfulness. Just like seeds require consistent watering and time to blossom into beautiful flowers, affirmations also need nurturing and patience to flourish and evolve. I invite you to share your experiences with positive affirmations and mantras:

1. Have you explored incorporating positive affirmations into your daily life?

2. What negative thoughts or beliefs do you recognize in moments of struggle?

3. Which personalised affirmations deeply resonate with you, and how do you plan to integrate them into your daily routine for maximum impact?

Warm wishes,

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Resources:

• Brilliant collection of Momffirmation from

  The Mom Diaries

• Greate article written by

  Kate Harvey
  about Setting Intentions

• Creswell, J. D., Dutcher, J. M., Klein, W. M. P., Harris, P. R., Levine, J. M. (2013). Self-Affirmation Improves Problem-Solving under Stress. PLoS ONE, 8(5), e62593.

• Falk, E. B., O'Donnell, M. B., Cascio, C. N., Tinney, F., Kang, Y., Lieberman, M. D., Taylor, S. E., An, L., Resnicow, K., Strecher, V. J. (2015). Self-affirmation alters the brain's response to health messages and subsequent behavior change. Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A, 112(7), 1977-1982.

• Thitipitchayanant, K., Somrongthong, R., Kumar, R., Kanchanakharn, N. (2018). Effectiveness of self-empowerment-affirmation-relaxation (Self-EAR) program for postpartum blues mothers: A randomized controlled trial. Pak J Med Sci, 34(6), 1488-1493.